Thoughts on now and later.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs&feature=channel

Watch this video, it's pretty neat.

When I run in a race I like to run with and talk to other runners; perhaps because I am doing something that I have put so much work into and that I am happy that I have got to that point and I feel like it's the culmination of so much effort.

But when I am on a training run I like to be alone. I put myself through pain and suffering, I go out in conditions that I shouldn't and run harder than I should and I push my limits. There are days when I destroy myself. I have to go places deep within myself to get through the ways I push myself when I am training and I want those to be my alone moments.

Iin the two weeks since the death race I haven't done much running; I ran to the beach to swim once, did some treadmill running once, and then two days ago did a 33 k trail run which was rather rough considering there isn't running water on the mountains anymore. I've done a fair bit of biking though. Biked to the gym a couple times and then did a 40, 32, and 67 km bike in that time. The 67 km bike was really hot, like 33 degrees outrside hot; I wanted to go further but I didn't want to get sunburnt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpunQZ4cUyI&feature=related

I'm not sure if my body is still a little fatigued but now that my goal for the summer has been completed I am feeling underwhelmed and difficult to motivate myself to run. Going back to work the day after I got back from Grande Cache was not good at all; for the first time this summer I had thoughts about how much I hated my job. Yeah it's a bad job, but before I would aimlessly coast through my day happily able to distract myself with the thoughts of running 'running' through my head. But now that I am done the big goal it's as though I had, temporarily at least, purged all thoughts of running from my head and was left to face the reality of my life situation. And then there's the deal that University classes begin again soon and that isn't doing anything to make me feel motivated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB4w_g1hMJ8&feature=related

I really do think I depend on running. It is very cleansing for me, and unfortunately I was left unable to run hard for a week (well I"m sure I could have but better judgement won out). Thursday I ran 33 km of trails, intending to go further but stopped by not enough water. I had no goals other than to push hard, stopping when I felt like it and enjoying the outside. It was wonderful. And then the next day I was on my road bike for just under 3 hours. Which is the longest I've been on my bike this year.

Next year I think I'm going to run at least one 100 mile race, perhaps two depending on the schedule. I think I need a goal to train towards, so that goal will be to do a 100 mile race in under 24 hours. I learned a lot from the death race and even though I am happy with finishing it, I know I can do better and push harder.

Now if only I could figure out what I want to do with my life that doesn't revolve around running. Oh well, I guess I'll keep stumbling my way through new paths. And I'll keep running while I do that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-e4rNp7vk5I&feature=related

Nazzer