Outlining dnf conditions. Sort of.

"Decide before the race the conditions that will cause you to stop and drop out. You don't want to be out there saying, Well gee, my leg hurts, I'm a little dehydrated, I'm sleepy, I'm tired, and its cold and windy. And talk yourself into quitting. If you are making a decision based on how you feel at that moment, you will probably make the wrong decision." - quote from somebody

I've been told something along these before leading up to longer races. In my first long race I was prepared to do anything to finish. Last year, I DNF'd a 100 km race, a 148 km race, and a 120 mile race. I didn't really have any particularly meaningful reason to run the races themself, I had plenty of reason to train (make sense, I do not know) but nothing stood out as driving me to finish. 

When I ran my 125 km race in 2010 I felt driven by a sort of logic that made me feel like the race itself was a metaphor of sorts for bettering myself in life, and not finishing the race became an unacceptable choice for me, so I was gonna finish. I had some real tough moments, but I did it. 

Last year in my longer races I didn't feel like I had anything particularly driving me. I was just out having fun, messing about having fun. And that attitude doesn't really translate into the necessity of destroying your body in an endurance race. But yeah, I had fun. I just didn't finish my long races. But in terms of finishing the races, I failed three times. 

This race coming up. What conditions will cause me to stop and drop out? Nothing. Absolutely nothing will cause me to stop and drop out. I absolutely want to redeem myself from the feeling of failure I got last year in my long races. Sure, I can rationalize my failings. But in the end I failed to achieve my goals. 

My goal in selecting to do a long race in the early part of the year was built around the goal of finishing. I think I have better prepared myself physically and mentally for this than I did for the races last year. My primary goal throughout training was t o finish a 100 mile race. Could I do better and finish well? Maybe. Will I do worse than my goal and drop out? No. 

You know what they say, hindsight is 20/20. Regret is a very strong driving force. My regretful decision of DNF'ing multiple long races last year has been the driving force behind the last 6 months of my training.